Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
