Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
