I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
