??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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