I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
