Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
one might say we're banned from that church
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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