It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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