i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
