He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
