these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
