my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
