garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
