if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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