another moral hangover. fuck.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the liver wants what the liver wants
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
