all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize