loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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