I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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