How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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