sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
