Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
