Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
