you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
