Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
