I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
