It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
