Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
