If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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