so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
