Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
