I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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