i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
