google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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