and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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