Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize