And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
