Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
