It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
