her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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