dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's never too late to be topless.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
