Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
