I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
