she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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