My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
