If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My vagina is officially offended.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
