is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
