i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
