Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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