bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
