I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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