i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
