he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
