just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
