8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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