why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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