I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
