oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
