i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
did i walk over a car last night?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
