How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
