We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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