So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
