Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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