When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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