Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
