well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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