I hate all girls vehemently.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
