She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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