Buhtt sex?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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