i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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