Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
