hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
