The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
