I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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