My first STD was from a foam party
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize