do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
