yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
