from now on my penis is your penis
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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