Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
