There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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