She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
