the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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