Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize