i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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