five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
