sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
