didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
