so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
