i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize