How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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